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Believe..

You know things can’t be undone
You know there’s no turning back
But I know that I don’t want to be back
It’s all black with no hope
I want it all just right now
All my miracles in my life to know
I am blessed yet bleak
I have everything on its peak
Love, laugh, carers which we all need
A little less or a little more we demand
From the destiny or your life
Of what we believe
I don’t need no less or not more
Because sometimes it’s the feel I have
I have more than I need
All the love, laugh and carers we require
I have been sick but now I am back
With all the mighty and a brand new me
Shining in the darkness
With silence at the edge
Coz I love silence and peace
It gives you a chance to meet you
And that’s what I believe
Or that’s what I want to believe..

Don’t be mad…

You seem to care a lot
You seem to trust a lot
You seem to love a lot
You also seem loyal a lot

But is it inaccurate to not feel sometimes?
Is it inadequate to feel suffocated at times?
Is it inappropriate to shut down doors for awhile?
Or is it not in my hands for me to love you alike?

I know I sometimes don’t do justice
But do tell me if it’s suffice
I suffer from deep cut scars
It’s not easy to make me a star

I don’t follow the rules and regulations
I think about everything with prospection
I feel every single rhythm of my depression
And I am quite familiar with this repression

Oh darling! You don’t need to be this mad
It’s everything I’ve ever had
You entire presence makes me want to jump to cloud nine
At least I believe you don’t judge me for being a little sad..

Still

Some things have changed
I don’t know if I changed
But I have changed I know that
And you are the reason I changed
And I am afraid of future
And my past is not livable
I want to live where I am right now
In the safe hands that have vowed
To nourish me and protect me till the end
But I want to be still
Like a rock or a tree
Or can be a mountain
I don’t want to feel
Nor the pain not the happiness
I have been feeling numb
Yet I have tried my best to reach
Not one understood
Even not those who vowed
But I want the numbness and stillness
Still I want the respect of it
I don’t want to feel but still
I want someone to feel for me..

Silence

There is a silence outside
Birds are not chirping anymore
Water does not flow fluently now
Things have changed somehow
The sun shine lightly now
Even if it’s hot like a desert here
The moon is not as bright
As it was used to be
Oh.. look there are no stars there also
Have the clouds hidden them from us
I guess there’s a silence inside
Something is dying in my soul
Is it a part or the whole soul
Look deep into my eyes
My eyes don’t shine bright anymore
My smile doesn’t stay much longer
I don’t have tears in my eyes
Coz I haven’t lost anything beyond
I have my blessings with me
I have all the live I could have with me
But still with all this
There’s suffocation inside
And still there’s silence inside..

Moving on..

This battle between my mind and heart

This time I let my mind win again 

There’s nothing left in this picture 

You said you are different 

You made the illusion of perfect ending

I thought you were my happily ever after 

I felt the need to be some one I am not

You altered my very core 

You in your essence made me loose my own

You even made my tears to dry up in my eyes 

I always loved the idea of being us

People judged me for my lack of attention 

I lost my dreams just to catch you 

I lost my self just to match you

I trusted you blindly even shared my darkest secrets 

I not only gave a piece but my whole heart 

In every turn in every fight I was the guilty one

I guess I was nothing but naïve

And now when I have opened my eyes

I am lost in this midst

I now see that I am in a different cage

Where I have to beg hard to breathe 

I thought you were my one and only

But now I realized that you loved my idea

And when ever I raised my voice

You simple just torn me in half

And now it’s a no more trying 

I am done with your tantrums 

I am not happy but I will be at peace at least 

I will find my way 

I will be strong enough to move

And now my darling, I am moving on.. 

Purer

I had a beating heart in my chest 

That longed to see love at fullest
I had a shining soul in me 

That had bigger waves than the sea
I had more bigger dreams in my eyes

To want to conquer the skies
I was as naïve as the little bird

Didn’t know what was wrong with being in dirt 
But then you came to happen 

And all my wishes seemed to be relished 
With you I was high above from the skies

The feels and the tease you bring with smiles 
I was in love with each piece of you

You showed me what I was missing before 
You tend to complete me with a sense

You made my fantasies a reality
All of the impossibilities seemed possible

With you darling I truly blossomed 
You made me feel like one and only

Your eyes made me feel like a beauty
But little did I know

It was only for the show
With littlest of the things

My realities came crashing down
I fell so hard from the stage 

Yet you didn’t even try to catch
I lost all my hopes and my dreams

Just to be there for your insecurities 
You made me the way I am now

Cold, silent, bitter, with taste sour
I now long to see that shine in my eyes

You stole my innocence I always had in past years
And in all that abscess 

Still I managed to smile in this stress
But standing all bare in front of the mirror

All I see is the broken woman

Just a little more purer than before… 

Sad..

You seem to care a lot 

You seem to trust a lot

You seem to love a lot 

You also seem loyal a lot
But is it inaccurate to not feel sometimes? 

Is it inadequate to feel suffocated at times? 

Is it inappropriate to shut down doors for awhile?

Or is it not in my hands for me to love you alike?
I know I sometimes don’t do justice 

But do tell me if it’s suffice

I suffer from deep cut scars

It’s not easy to make me a star
I don’t follow the rules and regulations 

I think about everything with prospection

I feel every single rhythm of my depression 

And I am quite familiar with this repression  
Oh darling! You don’t need to be this mad

It’s everything I’ve ever had 

You entire presence makes me want to jump to cloud nine 

At least I believe you don’t judge me for being a little sad.. 

You…

Like waves to and fro

Our relation is in its high and low

You seem like you care

Looking at our fingers locked

I seem to be lost 

Like a little puppy in frost 

Yet you seem you know

In all the rules you formed

Now forcing me to follow

Changing me to become hollow

But still I think you care

And I think you know

Of all the ruins of my soul

And I think you have seen 

The battle wounds I carry 

And in spite of all to and fro 

I seem to believe in you 

Because of the spark in you 

And the kindness in you 

I seem to be in love with you

Because it’s simply just you..